Things that can be done while you’re thinking straight

I used to hear my father, Simon Hunter, say in his prayers, “God, I thank you for waking me up in my right mind.” We children would laugh because we thought that everybody woke up in their right mind. Well, as years passed, I came to realize that many lie down at night and upon awakening, they don’t know where they are, who they are, and the time or today’s date.

Some of the times their memory is lost for only a few moments, but other times, their memory is lost forever—just that quick.

In the old days, the church used to sing the song, “While the blood is running warm in your veins.” We laughed at that song also; we did not understand the meaning of the words. Today, I understand my father’s prayer and the old church song. There is now a face on the expression “while you are in your right mind”—it’s called competency, and when you are not in your right mind, it’s called incompetency—not able to make a sound decision for yourself. I know the interpretation of the song “while the blood is running warm in your veins.” It means that when the blood is running warm, you are alive, and when the blood is cold in your veins, you are dead.

What am I saying? We need to make decisions about how we want to live and die while we are in our right mind. We need to designate who we want to distribute our assets upon our death or who we want to manage them should we become incapacitated. We need to designate the person that we want to make healthcare and financial decisions for us, if we are unable to do so. I promise you that if you do not decide these issues while you are in your “right” mind, the person who you would least likely choose may be the one taking charge of your healthcare and financial affairs.

Dementia and Alzheimer’s disease are affecting so many people. Just recently, it was announced that a coach from Tennessee, in her late 50s, had been diagnosed with early Alzheimer’s. What’s my point? For a power of attorney for healthcare and financial concerns, these documents need to be notarized and witnessed. If a person is suffering from dementia/Alzheimer’s disease, you may find it difficult to obtain a notary to notarize this document knowing of such a diagnosis. So do it while you are in your “right” mind.

The following is a very sad story. Several months ago, I was made aware of a 79-year-old woman who rented a room to a male tenant. He befriended her and became her caretaker and gained her confidence. It was discovered this year by a relative that her “living trust” had been amended to add the tenant as a trustee and the sole beneficiary, deleting her only son who lives out of town from the trust. It was also discovered that a few years back, she had taken a reverse mortgage on her home and received $170,000 cash. No one knows what bank the money had been placed in, and she no longer remembers, and the male tenant no longer lives with her. This is what can happen when one is not in his/her “right” mind and when there is no one paying close attention to the seniors in their family.

I have been sounding the alarm for years, warning folks to get their personal and business affairs in order and—yes, I am talking to you, so what are you waiting for? You need to handle your business while you are in your “right” mind and while the blood is running warm in your veins. Do the right thing for yourself, your children, and your family.

I have articles posted on my website that you may want to read and share with others. Go to www.Drrosie.com and print them at no cost. These informative articles are: “Families Must Discuss Death & Dying,” “How Are the Elders Faring?” “It’s Time to Get in Your Children’s Business,” “It’s Time to Get in Your Parents’ Business,” and many more.

Rosie Milligan, author, publisher, minister, estate planner, and co-author of the book “Departing This Life Preparations: What You Need to Know to Get Your Personal & Business Affairs in Order,” with Attorney Clara Hunter King. Contact [email protected].